Skip to main content

Seeing Change

My former co-worker L called me today out of the blue. It's been over five years since we worked together and over a year since we last spoke. The pandemic was in its early days back then. I was surprised to learn that she had chosen not to vaccinate herself and believed that in America this was all over anyway. She said she does not watch the news so had no idea things were so dire in India. This is a woman with an MBA from one of the top schools in the country and by her own admission has been a straight A student her whole life. I had a very hard time processing the words that were coming out of her mouth. We talked about other things that are top of mind for people these days - based on news she cannot possibly avoid. 

L seemed utterly disinterested in thinking beyond whatever headline grabbed her attention. She said she was done with this whole pandemic thing and all other things that people were getting so over-worked about lately. Maybe it was time to step on the brakes and slow down a tad. I knew this person as well as one knows a co-worker. She came across fairly mainstream back in the day. Something has clearly fallen of the rails since then. I am not sure, how much of a communication I can continue to have with her. I tried to find something to grab on to that would be reminiscent of the person I knew her to be, but could not succeed. The whole conversation left me bewildered. What might have transpired in this past year that could result in such a dramatic change in a person. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cheese Making

I never fail to remind J that there is a time and place for everything. It is possibly the line she will remember me by when I am dead and gone given how frequently she hears it. Instead of having her breakfast she will break into a song and dance number from High School Musical well past eight on Monday morning. She will insist that I watch and applaud the performance instead of screaming at her to finish her milk and cereal. Her sense of occasion is seriously lacking but then so is mine. Consider for example, a person walks into the grocery store with the express purpose of buying detergent because they are fresh out of it and laundry is only half way done. However instead of heading straight for detergent, they wander over to the natural foods aisle and go berserk upon finding goat milk on sale for a dollar a gallon. They at once proceed to stock pile so they can turn it to huge quantities home-made feta cheese. That person would be me. It would not concern me in the least that I ha...

Part Liberated Woman

An expat desi friend and I were discussing what it means to return to India when you have cobbled together a life in a foreign country no matter how flawed and imperfect. We have both spent over a decade outside India and have kids who were born abroad and have spent very little time back home. Returning "home" is something a lot of new immigrants like L and myself think about. We want very much for that to be an option because a full assimilation into our country of domicile is likely never going to happen. L has visited India more often than I have and has a much better pulse on what's going on there. For me the strongest drag force working against my desire to return home is my experience of life as a woman in India. I neither want to live that suffocatingly sheltered existence myself nor subject J to it. The freedom, independence and safety I have had in here in suburban America was not even something I knew I could expect to have in India. I never knew what it felt t...

Under Advisement

Recently a desi dude who is more acquaintance less friend called to check in on me. Those who have read this blog before might know that such calls tend to make me anxious. Depending on how far back we go, there are sets of FAQs that I brace myself to answer. The trick is to be sufficiently evasive without being downright offensive - a fine balancing act given the provocative nature of questions involved. I look at these calls as opportunities for building patience and tolerance both of which I seriously lack. Basically, they are very desirous of finding out how I am doing in my personal and professional life to be sure that they have me correctly categorized and filed for future reference. The major buckets appear to be loser, struggling, average, arrived, superstar and uncategorizable. My goal needless to say, is to be in the last bucket - the unknown, unquantifiable and therefore uninteresting entity. Their aim is to pull me into something more tangible. So anyways, the dude in ques...