Commonsense advice on how to make WHF work for all concerned. The data is predictable and unsurprising. When I was a younger mother and J could suck up my time like a sponge, I took every opportunity I got to be with her. It was the best ROI of my time by far and it was mostly a fun time. This is not to romanticize the past and claim there weren't days when I felt so over-committed and over-scheduled that my head could burst. There was a fair share of those days and also the ones when dealing with J felt like immovable object meeting unstoppable force. Notwithstanding, there was some reward even at the end of those days.
I can see why mothers would want what I wanted back then - be with the kids as much as possible. What I learned from my own example and that of my peers is that such women should be prepared to make trade-offs. Building and growing a real career while devoting the best of your time and energy to raise your little one comes at considerable cost. It is not impossible but willingness to pay what it takes is important. I have seen women succeed when they are realistic about their limits and yet have super-human capacity to work and multi-task. They can make it look deceptively easy and seeing them as role models can be a trap. This is not for the faint of heart and certainly not for those who are unwilling or unable to pay the premium.
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