My friend M is has one kid graduating college this year and the other who is a rising senior at high school. M's oldest goes to an elite university and it is expensive. Parents pay for most of it as there was no clear expectation that the child would pitch it too. There seems to be this implied understanding that parents will pick up the tab for school - however long that experience lasts. Even when times were tough with one of the parents being laid off, expectations were not recalibrated. The kids have learned to be oblivious to the issue of money - it just comes along as needed. Now the oldest wants to go to grad school at the same time as the youngest will start college - presumably a fancy one like the big sister given her profile.
While the kids in this case may not be financially hobbled for life given generous parents with income to support their education, the impact on M and her husband is starkly obvious. They are both committed to staying in the workforce for years too come battling ageism and risk of displacement by younger cheaper employees. M took up a global role recently too afraid to turn it down and be out of a job entirely. Now she works round the clock except for few hours of sleep. Clients have crises every hour and day of the week and M is the point person.
She has not taken a vacation in over a decade - there is never any time for that. Any downtime she gets, she stays home and recharges her batteries while her husband picks up the slack. His job is highly specialized making it very difficult to have career mobility at his age - so he hunkers down and does what he can to contribute financially. Sometimes it seems like their marriage hangs by a thread - that of educating their children, there is no time or mental capacity to think beyond that. The plight of parents who are working hard to ensure the financial freedom of their kids is no less remarkable.
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