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Zealous Burnout

Learned the phrase from reading this article. I was burning out in my own way for decades not quiet or zealous but some hybrid of the two. The core of me craved peace and tranquility and the circumstances of my life strictly made both an impossibility. So I was seeking what was impossible and driving myself crazy in the process. It got me into being obsessively focused on the few things I could control, where I did have some agency. That lead then to zealous burnout. When I look back to the years that had been, I see the bad habits I picked up along the way and the triggers for anxiety that I recognize well but can't always manage. 

There are both short and long term consequences of burning out and not being able to stop it. Reminds me of a forest fire I saw recently and the frenetic activity to quell it. Choppers will lifting water in pails from the nearby ocean and dumping it on the core of the fire in the hills. It was woefully inadequate for the job and the gash had opened through the woods where the fire glowed an angry orange. The smoke billowed as far as the next town. In the short term the fire-fighting efforts would likely dampen some of the frenzy but the scars from the burns would remain for a long time. Such I think is the case with burnout too.

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