Just out of the blue, J started to share pictures of dishes she had cooked. Always creative and meticulous in the kitchen, it was no surprise that each meal was relatively complex and visually pleasing. This is the first time that she had started to cook on a regular basis. At first the effort felt significant compared to the reward but with each passing day and meal, that improved. She started to experience the creative freedom and relaxation that comes with cooking.
Back when she was at home, J used to say my cooking was always an indicator of my mental state. She could feel the stress, anger and happiness in it. So sitting down to dinner was in a sense confronting my state of mind that day. Knowing that is how she felt, I tried to get into the right frame of mind before preparing dinner - telling myself that the only point of the meal is to nourish those I love. Sometimes that seemed to help. Knowing how cooking is therapeutic for me, I am very glad J has taken to it and is learning it is a gift that keeps giving.
I long wanted to share what I learned over the years so she know how to recreate tastes from her childhood, the comfort foods she grew up on. Other mothers with grown up kids would tell me that time comes eventually and one can't rush it - they were right.
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