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Stress Test

Reading this article about pandemic triggered dissolution of marriage, reminded me of this other one about gray divorce that I had read a while back. Both are about the effect of certain life events people are not prepared for. It shakes up the status quo, the problems buried beneath the din and bustle of getting through each day, come to take centerstage. They want to be seen and counted, cannot and will not be ignored. Becoming empty nesters is not something people have experience with dealing from practice much like dealing with a pandemic. These events are stress-tests for a relationship and not everyone survives. Those who do are stronger than ever. 

Recently, I met a former client who I have not seen in years. He was in town and we decided to grab lunch. His oldest went to college this year and the young one has four more years left to go. B mentioned how much he valued the time at home being able to bond with the younger one and being able to be the kind of father he had always wanted to be. With him being at home and playing a more hands-on parenting role, the wife was able to catch a much needed break. She quit her dead-end job and started her own business. 

According to B, she has not been this happy in years. Without needing to commute, she has freed up time to take care of her health and fitness; serving as a role model for B who is now on a mission to lose his extra pounds to keep up with her. They are both counting down the days until they will have an empty nest and can start checking things off their travel bucket list. B and his wife are a counter example of the gray and pandemic divorce trends. They are the happy stress test survivors.

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