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Unrequested Advice

Reading the part about unrequested advice in the article gave me new perspective about folks I have encountered in my life who came across and micro-managing. 

They tell others what to do… even when advice isn’t welcome. Aren’t these people just control freaks?

Advice is sometimes regret in disguise. Perhaps a past experience has left them with a longing to have acted differently, and this is their chance to put things right and help you avoid the pain they felt.

When you notice someone giving unrequested advice, ask if they’ve been in a similar situation before — and how it went.

Since unrequested advice makes me uncomfortable, I am very mindful of providing any to others. But the impulse to help others so they don't repeat our mistakes makes sense. This explanation of the driver got me thinking of a particular colleague in new light. T is constantly issuing words of caution and homilies on what he would recommend in a situation, what he has seen working or not. He makes every effort to not come across as over-bearing but his well-intentioned words have a deeply alienating effect on others. Everyone around learns to work around him instead of learning from his experience.

If only T could deliver unrequested advice in a way that is less off-putting to would be recipients. Maybe he could put together a set of stories of how failures happened and what lessons he learned from it. Instead of talking about these things when folks are already stressed about things T has no ability to help with, he could point them his Catalog of Errors, Omissions, Snafus and More - The Story of T's Life in Corporate America. He could even encourage others to contribute so it would become the story of our collected lives. I have reason to believe if T came across as authentic and introspective, he could lead by example and help us create a repository of unrequested advice that would benefit one and all,

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