Skip to main content

Against Tide

Meeting relatives for Thanksgiving after a pandemic hiatus was a bitter-sweet experience. The relationships are a bit frayed, everyone is worn out and trying to be brave and hopeful, kids are grown-up and have turned out to be way different than anyone would have expected. Lot of folks are talking about quitting their jobs - young and old alike. The conversations were not as free flowing in years past - no one was sure until the last minute if we were going to gather but we did. The hugs spoke of desperation for human touch that was missed for so long. Some of the kids in their 20s spoke of college being an escape from the world but how the dating life was quite desolate. 

One of the kid's is going to work in NYC and will be living with a few others she went to school with which intersects with the folks she will also be working with. She is ready for work-life harmony with 12 hour work days and turning home to those same people. My thoughts turned to some other kids I know who want to forge some unique path where they don't flow through the pipeline to end up in this place at the end of college. Wanting to take a detour puts them in a lonely place where the resources of comfort and support are lacking. So they start out in the world swimming against the tide and everything appears harder and scarier as a result. And in times of deep uncertainty as these are, the penalty for such upstream swimming can be even harsher. I found myself rooting for those kids I know and others like them that are out there and I don't know. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cheese Making

I never fail to remind J that there is a time and place for everything. It is possibly the line she will remember me by when I am dead and gone given how frequently she hears it. Instead of having her breakfast she will break into a song and dance number from High School Musical well past eight on Monday morning. She will insist that I watch and applaud the performance instead of screaming at her to finish her milk and cereal. Her sense of occasion is seriously lacking but then so is mine. Consider for example, a person walks into the grocery store with the express purpose of buying detergent because they are fresh out of it and laundry is only half way done. However instead of heading straight for detergent, they wander over to the natural foods aisle and go berserk upon finding goat milk on sale for a dollar a gallon. They at once proceed to stock pile so they can turn it to huge quantities home-made feta cheese. That person would be me. It would not concern me in the least that I ha...

Part Liberated Woman

An expat desi friend and I were discussing what it means to return to India when you have cobbled together a life in a foreign country no matter how flawed and imperfect. We have both spent over a decade outside India and have kids who were born abroad and have spent very little time back home. Returning "home" is something a lot of new immigrants like L and myself think about. We want very much for that to be an option because a full assimilation into our country of domicile is likely never going to happen. L has visited India more often than I have and has a much better pulse on what's going on there. For me the strongest drag force working against my desire to return home is my experience of life as a woman in India. I neither want to live that suffocatingly sheltered existence myself nor subject J to it. The freedom, independence and safety I have had in here in suburban America was not even something I knew I could expect to have in India. I never knew what it felt t...

Under Advisement

Recently a desi dude who is more acquaintance less friend called to check in on me. Those who have read this blog before might know that such calls tend to make me anxious. Depending on how far back we go, there are sets of FAQs that I brace myself to answer. The trick is to be sufficiently evasive without being downright offensive - a fine balancing act given the provocative nature of questions involved. I look at these calls as opportunities for building patience and tolerance both of which I seriously lack. Basically, they are very desirous of finding out how I am doing in my personal and professional life to be sure that they have me correctly categorized and filed for future reference. The major buckets appear to be loser, struggling, average, arrived, superstar and uncategorizable. My goal needless to say, is to be in the last bucket - the unknown, unquantifiable and therefore uninteresting entity. Their aim is to pull me into something more tangible. So anyways, the dude in ques...