Reading this blog post around the same time I became aware of a rather big lie that was told by a close relative for years feels like an odd coincidence. This relative (V) has been telling anyone who cares to listen that her now ex-husband cheated on her with impunity for a couple of decades while she labored over domestic and work responsibilities being the good and dutiful wife that she is. We all sympathized with her outrage, her desire for a pound of flesh (truth be told it has been more than a ton and she is not quite done) and we excused her extremely unhinged behavior. After all the woman was blindsided by the man she trusted and dumped in her declining years - it has to be a shock to the system. Nothing about that is good or right.
Now we learn that she in fact had multiple lovers going back to the early years of her marriage. One of these characters is still a close friend and confidant. She was looking for her next husband for almost the entirety of her marriage - only problem, she failed to close the deal notwithstanding her efforts. The ex has moved on successfully. So this big lie is a bit of a delay tactic - something to tell herself and the world until she has a plan and there is a the thing about convincing herself of an alternate reality to match what is going on - a reality where she can take on the mantle of a the victim she is absolutely not. There is this concept of an instrumental liar (not sure if this is the technical term). The combination of an instrumental and pathological liar the way the author describes its probably best describes V
" lying in a somewhat arbitrary and unnecessary way but using these lies in an aggressive way." "make stuff up about .. and then use this as a basis for an attack"
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