The line in this article about us cherishing children in the abstract but not the actual children struck a chord with me. While the author frames the argument in the context of abortion rights or the lack thereof, the idea goes further than that:
..dress up obsession with controlling women’s bodies and freedom in the wardrobe of “the rights of the fetus,” but then allow that fetus, once it turns into an actual child, to go hungry, to live in fear of violence in their schools, to go unhoused or deal with housing insecurity, to endure the effects of environmental racism, and to grow into an adult indelibly marked by all of those experiences.
When you speak to parents of adult children, often their accomplishments are touted by way of introducing the person you have not met and likely never will. I know the resume highlights of just about any such kid if their parent is in my social circle. What makes this person unique or memorable rarely comes up. Its a real pleasure when a parent decides to share something human about their adult child with a relative stranger so you remember those details and forget the resume highlights and the showreel of accomplishments. That seems like valuing children in the abstract and not so much for who they really are.
Recently, I met one such resume - quite a stellar one at that. The young lady was curious about the lessons learned by someone of my age. She had no desire to discuss her accomplishments and we chatted about mundane things like renting your first apartment alone, work-life balance expectations a young person should have and so on. It was a pleasure to speak with her and share what "wisdom" I could as she starts out in life.
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