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Reading this article reminded me of a conversation I had with a very young friend over the holidays. She is in her 20s and has a steady boyfriend. By all accounts the guy is nice and many things she desires. However, he is quite far from all that she wants. So this man will never be the one she marries - that is a road too far. L gets that she may be asking for too much and the pool of men who will make the cut will only shrink over the years. It does not bother her. She is prepared to go solo for the rest of her life but not willing to marry less than ideal. That is simply not going to happen. Many years ago, if I heard someone L's age make such pronouncements, I would have chalked it up to lack of maturity; with time they would change perspective. 

I don't see it the same way anymore. There are women that age and much older that I know of who have done exactly as L is threatening to do. A couple of them are my peers. They don't much care about what social norms they are expected to follow, motherhood is certainly not a priority and career keeps them busy and fulfilled. Men come and go and there could be long pauses in between specially in the older end of the spectrum. But they don't have any desire or intention to marry "wrong". One comment L made got me thinking about how popular media must have influenced her dreams and hopes. She said, it would be way easier to be single if there was a tight group of friends like they show in SATC - "The idea of four friends who stay both single and tightly bound well into their 30s feels almost as extravagant to me as the show’s iconic clothing budget."

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