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Deliberate Ignorance

Deliberate ignorance is a coping strategy in many relationships. People would rather suspect but remain in the dark than know and be forced to take action. The cost of knowing is too high and is sure to produce great discomfort. If over time, you can turn a blind eye to a cheating spouse, a wayward adult child, an ill-intentioned relative and so on, chances are you have been able to come to an internal compromise about what you do know to be true but have chosen not to bring out into the open. Who is to say that is a bad strategy. Time is great healer and leveler. 

The philandering partner will one day lose their drive to pursue their dalliances, the adult-child may understand the error of their ways and learn to be responsible, the ill-intentioned relative will become too old and incapacitated to cause any harm. The person who chose a deliberate ignorance strategy will then come out ahead - they had never been blindsided so they have no reason to feel foolish. Thanks to their patience, their problems have just been resolved organically. One could argue they prevailed in the end. The same strategy taken to medical conditions is unlikely to produce good results though that is fairly common as well. 

After the reunification of Germany in 1990, the Stasi’s files were opened to the public, and anyone could apply to see if their nearest and dearest had been passing along information. Many decided not to—they just didn’t want to know..

..The reasons people decided to remain ignorant to their Stasi files were diverse, Hertwig said. Some were concerned that they would find a loved one had spied on them. Other worries were larger: What if it damaged your ability to ever trust anyone again? Or caused you to lose your faith in your ability to judge another’s character? 

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