Skip to main content

House Cleaning

It has been an intense few days getting my house in order. The detritus from times past needed cleaning up to make way for the here and now. Once I got started, it became impossible to stop until that degree of order had been achieved. Something that would make the past go away like a bad dream, dredge out every last shred of it and leave things clean. When I embarked on this purge journey, I had no idea what "done" would look and feel like. It was supposed to be one of those - you know it when you see it. The first day it was over ten hours of work with some short pauses. My appetite had completely disappeared by then. The next morning, I was back at it and with lesser intensity but still plugged away until midnight. Day three saw me sore and spent from running on fumes. The job was just about done but not quite. Dropping of the remains of what had once been my life to the thrift store was the final step in the deep detox. That was also the first time I experienced any feeling of hunger. 

Lately, I have been talking to my parents about what's next- when should they plan to move in with me. If they don't like that option then how would they manage when they were no longer able to fend for themselves. Even the preliminary conversations have proven very stressful for them and they don't like going there. My weekend of deep-cleaning and wading through accumulated stuff helped me understand how they might feel asking if they want to be uprooted in entirety from their lives. Their roots go way deeper than mine, the history is more complex and longer. It also made me think about my friend A whose octogenarian father is slated to come to America leaving his world and life behind. He feels terribly alone after the demise of his wife but is coming to America the right answer for him - only time will tell

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Part Liberated Woman

An expat desi friend and I were discussing what it means to return to India when you have cobbled together a life in a foreign country no matter how flawed and imperfect. We have both spent over a decade outside India and have kids who were born abroad and have spent very little time back home. Returning "home" is something a lot of new immigrants like L and myself think about. We want very much for that to be an option because a full assimilation into our country of domicile is likely never going to happen. L has visited India more often than I have and has a much better pulse on what's going on there. For me the strongest drag force working against my desire to return home is my experience of life as a woman in India. I neither want to live that suffocatingly sheltered existence myself nor subject J to it. The freedom, independence and safety I have had in here in suburban America was not even something I knew I could expect to have in India. I never knew what it felt t

Cheese Making

I never fail to remind J that there is a time and place for everything. It is possibly the line she will remember me by when I am dead and gone given how frequently she hears it. Instead of having her breakfast she will break into a song and dance number from High School Musical well past eight on Monday morning. She will insist that I watch and applaud the performance instead of screaming at her to finish her milk and cereal. Her sense of occasion is seriously lacking but then so is mine. Consider for example, a person walks into the grocery store with the express purpose of buying detergent because they are fresh out of it and laundry is only half way done. However instead of heading straight for detergent, they wander over to the natural foods aisle and go berserk upon finding goat milk on sale for a dollar a gallon. They at once proceed to stock pile so they can turn it to huge quantities home-made feta cheese. That person would be me. It would not concern me in the least that I ha

Under Advisement

Recently a desi dude who is more acquaintance less friend called to check in on me. Those who have read this blog before might know that such calls tend to make me anxious. Depending on how far back we go, there are sets of FAQs that I brace myself to answer. The trick is to be sufficiently evasive without being downright offensive - a fine balancing act given the provocative nature of questions involved. I look at these calls as opportunities for building patience and tolerance both of which I seriously lack. Basically, they are very desirous of finding out how I am doing in my personal and professional life to be sure that they have me correctly categorized and filed for future reference. The major buckets appear to be loser, struggling, average, arrived, superstar and uncategorizable. My goal needless to say, is to be in the last bucket - the unknown, unquantifiable and therefore uninteresting entity. Their aim is to pull me into something more tangible. So anyways, the dude in ques