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Old Connections

At one of the banks I had to visit with my parents, the bulk of the staff was from Bihar many of them domiciled in Bengal. Everyone understands Bangla and many speak the language fluently. Once they learned I spent a good part of my growing up years in Jharkhand, the conversation turned to food and particularly their signature mango pickle of which I am a huge fan, One of the women promised she would have some on hand next time I came to the bank. It was strangely comforting to chat about the place I grew up in with a bunch of strangers and have a common understanding of the norms and culture that defined it. 

Whatever my resentments I harbored about Bihar(then) Jharkhand(now) faded away in warmth of the company. This is not the level of discourse I could expect as a customer in a bank anywhere else. In Kolkata they take "antarikata" very seriously and these folks from the neighboring state had clearly embraced the culture whole-heartedly. Later in the day, I chanced upon a story from Bihar which is reality too, albeit one I have not seen up close. Growing up, I had friends from Bihar who chose to fight the dowry system by refusing to have their marriage arranged. They chose their own partners and very successfully. I thought it was the smartest way to fight the system - the more people opt out of it, the quicker it will die. 

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