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Seeing Reflection

I watched Indian Matchmaking soon after reconnecting with two desi friends my age after a long time. C in single and S is divorced. All three of us have been through the arranged marriage route. C's strategy was to say no to everyone because she was simply not interested in marriage. S had a narrow set of options with family in strong favor of the candidate she married to her great peril. My strategy back in the day was to say No to nothing and see what the universe would say Yes to, In my infinite wisdom, I thought not being an impediment to the natural flow of things would prevent regrettable decisions and lead to a fantastic outcome. I learned at a great cost and a couple of wasted decades of life that I was dead wrong. 

With all that in the backdrop, it was most illuminating to see the cast of characters in this series. I am going to assume a lot of the show was tailored to play out desi stereotypes - the ubiquitous aunties, the face reader, palm reader, astrologer, pandit with pujas and tantras all make their obligatory appearance. Not everything in a reality show is real. Maybe the characters were having fun at the expenses of a gullible audience who wanted to believe certain mythologies about India and the Indian condition that they happily played out. 

Yet, it is true that the world of Indian matchmaking cannot exist without the supporting cast of characters. You do get your horoscopes matched to make a go/no-go decision on a prospect. This process is imprinted into a person's mind well before they become aware of their personhood and preferences. The astrologer plays a critical role in the life of a family and can become indispensable during matchmaking. 

More thoughts about what I took away in days and weeks to come. 

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