The last day before I returned from Kolkata, my father asked me when I would visit next. It is a natural question to ask and a hard one to answer. I realize we don't have a lot of time left together so the more often I can come see them the better. A full immersion into the their way of life is not sustainable yet that is what is takes for us make the most of my stay. In an ideal world, I would not just visit but spend a few months each time I came here. I am not at the stage of life where that is possible. My father's question made me wonder about the time I would ask J the same thing and how she might answer.
It would depend on our physical distance from each other, her ability to support what she does for a living from my home and finally her desire to spend time with me. It's not clear how much of each factor I can influence if at all. I was not able to give my father any specific answer beyond that I will be there if any need arises (which he is well aware of and not the point of his question). What might have my parents done differently while raising me or me while raising J, so that question would not need to be asked at all. The answer would be known and one that would be a happy one for all. There are those parent-child relationships too but it seems to have not played out in my family. I treated this trip as if it might be the last time I see one of my parents alive and it really made me focus on what would matter to both them and me if that were to be true.
Comments