Reading these words in Rafia Zakaria's book warmed my heart immensely. Here sister who has spoken the unadorned truth:
There is a division within feminism that is not spoken of but that has remained seething beneath the surface for years. It is the division between the women who write and speak feminism and the women who live it, the women who have voice versus the women who have experience, the ones who make the theories and policies and the ones who bear scars and sutures from the fight.
I could be deeply biased because I am a woman from the sub-continent, have had to escape from marriage and raise a child alone in America. But Zakaria speaks the truth and I would argue speaks for many of us when she describes her experience being invited to speak at a multi-cultural event on her subject matter- what does feminism mean in Pakistan.
This was a “global bazaar,” where the “natives” from various countries could raise money for some noteworthy cause, orphanages, malnutrition, girls’ schooling, or even microloans. Like extensions of the merchandise, the women who had been invited to “speak” would stand obediently by the tchotchkes that commodified their culture.
Like Zakaria, I have learned to retell my "story" into a short pitch that does not offend, confound, confuse or depress my local audiences. Every year of my adult life until J left to college a few years ago have been filled with complicated events many of which require understanding of my cultural background. To compress all that into a few minutes of social chatter with relative strangers is an impossible undertaking.
The perfect elevator pitch does not exist but I have few very quick versions of the "story" that I can tell based on who is hearing. Not one of them speaks to who I am. That said, I have a few friends who are very unlike the white feminists Zakaria is describing. They recognize the limits of their understanding of India and what it is to have grown up there as a woman. They are willing to accept their view of the world is partial at best and are curious to learn what they can from others like me. They know that people that look like me are not always in need of a rescue - infact we are quite capable of rescuing others.
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