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Social Recession

For those who have seen their social circle shrink over time because of a variety of reasons including the pandemic will find this interview useful reading. I have known E for about seventeen years now and she has been single the whole time. Speaking to her recently, I could not help marvel at how she has managed to keep her social life more vibrant and steady than most other people I know - partnered or single. It is still the group of five women, most of them well into their retirement like E. It is still the same semi remote island close to nothing they gather together for a week in summer. Fortunately for this set, no one is seriously ill or disabled and everyone is alive. 

But what is remarkable is that they have kept this tradition going for close to forty years now. That is the remarkable power of ritual. E tells me that they communication over the rest of the years is pretty sparse but there is the time of year when the group activates and starts planning for the off-the-grid week. Conversations happen during that week that are not possible to have any other place and time. One of the authors interviewed in this story also highlights the importance of such ritual

"Ritual is one thing. So having a friendship anniversary that you celebrate, or having like a recurring trip every year or having a built in once a month, we all get together and play cards, to choose a really retro example that I'm loving lately. These are things that allow us to stay connected, and kind of continually check in. And then there are just the basics that apply to any good relationship. Actually making an effort to speak openly about what's really going on with you, assuring your friend that you want to hear about where they're at right now, and wanting the unvarnished truth."

E and her friends understood early on that just sticking with the habit would pay huge dividends down the road. Everyone committed to not bailing out but making this week a priority over other things. All of these ladies except E have spouses, kids and grandkids who need their time and attention. It is that much more remarkable that E could serve as the anchor for her group and keep this tradition alive - not fall victim to social recession

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