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Staying Apart

 As someone who believed that sharing space with someone everyday is the thing that destroys relationships and indeed spent a good many years diving between two homes to prevent, I understand this issue of needing separate bedrooms. In many situations, this bit of space and the room to breathe undisturbed can be what it takes to keep the relationship eco-system survivable. But based on my personal experience it does not make for peace, comfort and tranquility that makes that relationship a sanctuary one craves for. That can happen when this need for separation and space dissolves - sometimes the process and slow and winding but given enough time and patience the dissolution might come about and bring great results for both. The need for private time and space is a real one but it can be accomplished in many other ways without needing be in separate bedrooms

..according to the International Housewares Association, a trade organization, 31% of surveyed couples who said they sleep apart reported that the arrangement had no impact on their relationship, and 21% said that their relationship improved because of it. (Granted, the remaining half of the respondents did not see the setup in such a positive light.)

Reading this reminds of one of my younger relatives who has recently bought her first home and does not share it full-time with her boyfriend of two years. The relationship as she describes it is strong and happy but she needs her space and does not like being crowded. So the man goes back and forth between his place and hers based on what she is in the mood for. Sometimes she visits him in his home and spends time there if he does not feel like coming over. There are two homes separated by a few miles and to my old-fashioned soul, this sounds like a woman who is not sure about who she is with.

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