Neuroscience suggests that loneliness doesn’t necessarily result from a lack of opportunity to meet others or a fear of social interactions. Instead, circuits in our brain and changes in our behavior can trap us in a catch-22 situation: While we desire connection with others, we view them as unreliable, judgmental and unfriendly. Consequently, we keep our distance, consciously or unconsciously spurning potential opportunities for connections.
Loneliness can be difficult to study empirically because it is entirely subjective. Social isolation, a related condition, is different — it’s an objective measure of how few relationships a person has. The experience of loneliness has to be self-reported, although researchers have developed tools such as the UCLA Loneliness Scale to help with assessing the depths of an individual’s feelings.
Interesting essay about chronic loneliness and what it does to the brain. What is loneliness and how it can be measured is a big part of it. I tested myself on UCLA Loneliness Scale and came out middle of the road and presumably boring. Folks like me would likely feel somewhat lonely sometimes and suffer the consequences moderately. But not much will change - we would just keep sloshing around in the waves of average and remain exactly there.
The afternoon I took this test was spent working in the yard, pulling weeds. I do not particularly enjoy yardwork but always look forward to that time to help my mind go on complete break. Maybe my level of loneliness drives this craving for solitude and disconnect from people as well - it helps to preserve the status quo.
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