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Missing Bits

I met my one time neighbor and very old friend M when I was visiting her city for work. It turns out she lives in the heart of downtown, a few blocks away from where my meetings were. M is one of those warm, generous people that are very easy to be around. That was her when I first met her over twenty years ago and is true even today. We often met at the gym in the apartment complex where we both lived at the time. I remember the first time she invited me over, she made this wonderful rich chocolate dessert from scratch. It was an impressive production and by her description not that hard to make. 

My marriage was on the brink back then and unbeknownst to me, so was hers. A few years later, I reconnected with her and learned about the bizarre way in which her marriage had ended around the same time as mine. She said, she never saw any signs of trouble with me - I guess we both did a good job of putting on a show of normalcy. M's apartment as I recall was picture perfect. It was what I aspired to one day have my own home look like. The details escape me now but there was this attention to making the space work right and overall harmony that made a strong impression. I saw some of the paintings that used to hang in her apartment, on the walls of her beautiful condo. M has made a great recovery all around, achieved career success and found the right man for herself. 

The only pieces that don't fit nicely is how she went from being a gym rat to someone who has totally let herself go. And her home is a complete mess - nothing like the pages of Home & Garden magazine that I would expect it to be from what I knew of her back then. She was just starting out as clinician back then, now she is very well established so money is clearly not the problem. Notably missing is the greenery. M used to have a ton of wonderful houseplants back in the day that I watered for her when they were away. Meeting M made me wonder about the things we lose along the way that were once essential to who we were as humans. 

My mental image of M is someone who took health and fitness seriously, kept her home picture perfect and baked these amazing things that she described as easy. I am sure that they were infact easy for her. This apart from being a busy professional. She is a couple of years younger than me but I looked up to her as a role model - a classy woman who had her act together in every way, could be tough as nails while being very womanly. I believe she is still all that and much more given her rich life experience but there was price paid to travel this distance and travel it mostly alone.

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