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Circling Vultures

D is in mid 40s and postponed motherhood until she had achieved some career milestones. Only she knows what she had dreamed of in her 20s when she started out and if indeed she had touched that goal-post before giving birth to her child a few months ago. I have known D professionally since she returned from maternity leave but there are many who knew pre-baby D and refer to her as a force of nature. 

I see some traces of it still as she tries to land on her feet while going through the physical and emotional roller-coaster new motherhood can be for some women specially that age is not on her side either. It is impossible not to see how her ambitious peers are circling around her like so many vultures over around a maimed animal. They will swoop in for the kill if D shows signs of weakness and fading out. So she keeps everyone on their toes by being impossible to predict - that is her best shot of survival. 

As a woman who went through significant emotional challenges during D's stage of motherhood, I can relate to some of what she is experiencing. Fortunately for me, I had a rather simple job at the time and did not have to perform the psyops every day to survive at work. I just needed to focus on getting physically and mentally fit besides taking care of J. Work paid the bills but did not require any emotional investment. Those are table-stakes in D's world. Her realm of problems only begin after all that is done. Much of D's adult life has been about achieving milestones. The baby is a culmination of many successful achievements. I can see why she would be loathe to concede her hard-earned wins over this difficult post-partum phase. That said, there are many around D that are collateral damage to her chosen survival mechanism. 

My friend L who works for her is constantly anxious because no one can predict what D will ask for and by when. Like me L is sympathetic towards D but her management style leaves a lot to be desired. As allies of a new mother in the workplace that folks like L and I consider ourselves to be, it puts us in a bind when considering someone like D. Is she really leadership material cracking under the pressure the way she is? On the other hand, D's situation cannot be compared with any of her male colleagues. Who is to say any of them would perform even a tenth as well as her in the same conditions. Who is anyone to judge what D does at all.

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