Skip to main content

Mock Wedding

It is hard for someone of my vintage to understand the rationale behind Indian kids celebrating mock weddings in college campuses. One way to look at it a second chance at prom and doing it the desi way instead of fitting into something that is culturally more distant. For kids from outside of America, they may have not experienced prom at all - only seen it in Hollywood movies. Its a chance to get in on the action in a familiar setting. There is also Bollywood weddings that many might see as aspirational but reality for them in the milieu of their own family and friends might look quite different.

In a sponsored wedding where the person is the playing the role of a bride or groom, they can have an experience that matches the collective aspirations of those who are there to participate. From what I have observed in friends and family circles back home, Indian youth does not seem to be in any rush to get married and even if they do, they have little desire to have kids. Seems to match what this study found. Many reasons are ascribed to the phenomenon among which is the point of marriage itself:

..Then comes the ‘shift in the attitude’ on the significance of marriage. The youth with higher education don't aspire to get married early. These days becoming a single father/mother is also not considered taboo and many consider a single lifestyle "woke" and modern. The difficulty in finding the right partner with physical and emotional compatibility is another daunting reality of our society that makes most of the youth underconfident in entering matrimony. 

If the stigma of single-parenthood is removed, I can see a lot of people wanting to have a child and raising them without daily drama and conflict where all decisions about that child will involve bickering and negotiation followed by sub-par outcomes. Back in my time being a single-mother in India was a bit of a novelty and people responded to it with some combination on unacceptance and hostility. Even if a parent were to overcome the social pressures, they would find them stymied in getting the child to fit in with their peers and get an equal shot at school and beyond. The shadow of the single parent would block out all light from the child's life. It was unfair to subject them to that. Times have changed now and it makes sense that kids would like to do a fake wedding to experience something they likely will not have in real life. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cheese Making

I never fail to remind J that there is a time and place for everything. It is possibly the line she will remember me by when I am dead and gone given how frequently she hears it. Instead of having her breakfast she will break into a song and dance number from High School Musical well past eight on Monday morning. She will insist that I watch and applaud the performance instead of screaming at her to finish her milk and cereal. Her sense of occasion is seriously lacking but then so is mine. Consider for example, a person walks into the grocery store with the express purpose of buying detergent because they are fresh out of it and laundry is only half way done. However instead of heading straight for detergent, they wander over to the natural foods aisle and go berserk upon finding goat milk on sale for a dollar a gallon. They at once proceed to stock pile so they can turn it to huge quantities home-made feta cheese. That person would be me. It would not concern me in the least that I ha...

Part Liberated Woman

An expat desi friend and I were discussing what it means to return to India when you have cobbled together a life in a foreign country no matter how flawed and imperfect. We have both spent over a decade outside India and have kids who were born abroad and have spent very little time back home. Returning "home" is something a lot of new immigrants like L and myself think about. We want very much for that to be an option because a full assimilation into our country of domicile is likely never going to happen. L has visited India more often than I have and has a much better pulse on what's going on there. For me the strongest drag force working against my desire to return home is my experience of life as a woman in India. I neither want to live that suffocatingly sheltered existence myself nor subject J to it. The freedom, independence and safety I have had in here in suburban America was not even something I knew I could expect to have in India. I never knew what it felt t...

Under Advisement

Recently a desi dude who is more acquaintance less friend called to check in on me. Those who have read this blog before might know that such calls tend to make me anxious. Depending on how far back we go, there are sets of FAQs that I brace myself to answer. The trick is to be sufficiently evasive without being downright offensive - a fine balancing act given the provocative nature of questions involved. I look at these calls as opportunities for building patience and tolerance both of which I seriously lack. Basically, they are very desirous of finding out how I am doing in my personal and professional life to be sure that they have me correctly categorized and filed for future reference. The major buckets appear to be loser, struggling, average, arrived, superstar and uncategorizable. My goal needless to say, is to be in the last bucket - the unknown, unquantifiable and therefore uninteresting entity. Their aim is to pull me into something more tangible. So anyways, the dude in ques...