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Realized Dream

An old colleague from one of my earliest jobs in Kolkata, reached out to wanted to reconnect after close to twenty five years now. I remember S being friendly and happy to mentor a younger more inexperienced coworker - which I was. He would walk me through things very patiently and make sure I understood. After all these years, I cannot remember what I had exactly learned from him but the experience remains a positive memory from that time. He was engaged to be married and actively looking for other opportunities. Most of us who knew him thought he would make a good husband and father - S was one of those all around decent guys that no one could not possibly have a problem with. A proper straight arrow. 

As we chatted about the years since that time, it turns out that his life had proceeded exactly as any one of us could have predicted. He has two kids who are doing well - he is proud of their accomplishments. He is married to the same woman and has lived in the same Midwestern town since he first came to the US twenty years ago. He has also been in the same job and same role for the last fifteen years. I could not help comment on how remarkably stable his life had been. I brought him upto speed with mine and could see his expression turn from disbelief to a bit of wistfulness. The level of drama (though he heard a two sentence summary of it all) might have been appealing from his vantage point where just about everything proceeded exactly per plan, there had been no dragons to slay - ever.

I mentioned that I had longed for normal, average and pedestrian as the ways to describe my life - sadly none of that happened and not in a good way. It would be one thing if the out of range experiences would lead to some larger than life outcomes, impact in the world and so on. Such is simply not the case - just a lot of needless strife to no particular end. When we got off the call, I felt myself thinking I would not want the life S and his wife have - no matter how difficult things have been for me, I am still glad I arrived where I did taking that path. If I had to guess, S went away wondering what "adventures" he may have missed out on as wholesome as everything has been. He was never a career-minded person and as he said once the kids were born they became the center of his universe - which I can completely believe knowing his from back then. I can see him transitioning to peaceful retirement and a doting grandfather in time - living my dream of normal to the end. So my reaction to seeing my supposed dream manifested in another person's reality was odd.  It was an unusual experience all around. 

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