My mother's cousin T is about twelve years older than me. Growing up, I thought of her as an older cousin who was misclassified as an aunt. To be respectful I always called her T Mashi and she appreciated her status being duly acknowledged. Among my earliest memories of T are those of her parents' struggles to get her married. T had was an was academic star, a wonderful vocalist with over a decade of musical training and a lot of fun to hang out with. The last quality was ofcourse the most relevant one to me. The reason for the struggle to arrange her marriage were things T could not change about herself - she had always been overweight, her eye sight was poor and she was not considered conventionally beautiful. It did not help that the father was not rich. The fact that her father was an all around outstanding guy, kind and erudite, beloved of his students was not relevant in the match-making motions.
While her parents fretted over her "situation", T continued to do well at everything, became a college professor and sang semi-professionally. She did not let the popular views of her marriage-worthiness get in the way of life. I found that very admirable even though I was not old enough to understand the courage and confidence it took for a woman past thirty back in the day to do what T did so effortlessly. She did get married in her mid thirties and had a son close to forty. Her husband turned out be the kind of man who appreciates T for everything she is. They looked like an odd couple starting out but looking at them now, it would seem they were destined for each other forever - they are a picture of perfection together. T was always a serene person but she looks radiant now. The years have been very kind to both of them. Recently she shared a few pictures from their trip to Coorg and I could not help thinking how T epitomizes a woman who has been in a great marriage - such a irony being that she was deemed completely unmarriageable and a lost cause by most back in her younger years.
Comments