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Seeking Children

Was not familiar with the term anti-natalism but the arguments are very familiar. I know several folks who have exactly these reasons for remaining child-free. Some would (and have) consider adoption of a destitute child over having a biological child to reduce their negative impact in the world and do some good for someone while at it. The arguments are quite reasonable and valid even. 

As someone who craved motherhood for many years until attaining that state, I don't think I will ever stop believing it was the best thing that every happened to me. For me it was more an inward looking self-centered decision - I wanted to know what it felt like to love a person unconditionally and without limit. I did not think I had it me to feel such love for anyone other than my own child - I believe that is still the case for me. Without having that experience, I don't think I would even know what it is to be human. 

By my reasoning, motherhood enabled me to understand my own humanity,  fully connect and draw from its resources. I sought to be a better more complete person by becoming a mother. What my action did for the world and the environment did not cross my mind. Did I bring J to a miserable world - I don't think so. Like most parents, I did what I could to make her life better than my own. My own life has been far from miserable.

People are different. A better person than me would presumably be able to feel unconditional, limitless love for any number of other people in their lives including children they adopt. For such folks, it would make sense to remain childfree, not burden the world through a Quixotic quest for their own humanity. They may argue that is not even relevant - specially if they view their own birth and existence as a mistake they cannot remedy. 

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