My friend B and her husband have become empty nesters recently. Last time we met, it was right after the youngest had left to college. Now it has been a year and they have both had time to process the feeling. B's husband is very ready to move on to the next phase of their lives. He looks relaxed and happy - major responsibilities were executed well and it is time for well-deserved rest. This is the most cheerful I have seen him in the decade that I have known this couple. B is a different story entirely. She looks bereft - there is no other way to describe her affect. She is going through the motions of entertaining friends, socializing and the rest, but her heart is not in it. She is simply not able to join her husband in his desire to move on to the next phase, have their grand adventures together.
That is the not what the rest of her life is about. She is seeking the community of women of her age and life stage she can commiserate with. The life experiences of B as a mother are the only ones that she wants to center on. It is as if the husband is waiting for her on a different track in the railway station, hoping to board a train at goes to a place she has never been or even wants to go. But they are each waiting for the other, hoping that after enough time passes, they will fall back in sync to meet at a common place, continue moving in the same direction. It was interesting to observe how remarkably they have both changed as the result of the same event but not at all in the same way.
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