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Snail Girl

Throughout my career I have seen women cope with burnout very differently than men. Women are impacted a lot more as the numbers in the story suggest and the decisions they make are more extreme. Leaving a high-pressure job in a large, well-recognized company to take on a role in a small obscure company no one ever heard of is a move I have seen a few times. Some have switched careers entirely to find a pace that fits their needs. Long hiatuses to raise children is not uncommon either. My friend W calls this phase "left to be Mamma". He has been in HR all his life and has seen any number of talented women simply leave when the pressures of raising children and keeping their marriage functional was too much to fit alongside the job. 

W sees these women returning once the kids are older and more self-sufficient and having to prove themselves all over again. All the gains from their last time around having disappeared by the time they return. I know of a few young women who are going full-throttle in their careers because they have the opportunity to do so before other life-events occur. My friend L is in her mid-30s and single. She is going at top-speed but lately she pauses to ask herself if the speed is warranted and what is is getting out of her career is worth postponing marriage and kids - things she does want for herself. 

Then there is R who in the midst of the pandemic finally found the courage to quit her insane job cold-turkey and join a few virtual book-clubs to clear her mind from the accumulated clutter. She works for the National Park Service now in a capacity that is a far cry from her glitzy corporate job but R has found the peace she did not have her whole adult life going as she did from feeder high-school to elite university to fancy job and burning out bit by bit until there was only "ashes of R" left as she described it. She was in her mid 40s finally had enough of it all. For many women the secret to lasting is to go somewhere between crawl and walk pace the whole time - prepare for a laborious marathon from day one, never think of sprinting. 

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