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One Sided

I am definitely the person that does all the outreach to my friends and acquaintances with a very small minority who also do their part. There would be any number of reasons for one-sided friendship and they are unique to the person and their circle of friends. In my case, I would attribute it to the fact that most of the folks I am talking about are acquaintances who I picked up at certain life stages. 

That context is very important because it brought these people into my life and led to us becoming "friends" at the time. Most if not all of them had settled into what would be their life going forward. If they were married at the time, they still are. The house they lived in then is still where they live. Their lives were steady state and mine was in flux. Most continue to work for the same company - a few have moved around for work but all other parameters have remained exactly the same. 

In contrast everything about me has changed several times - they had to reset their relationship with me each time a big change event occurred. Comes a point when the other person can no longer count on me being anyone or anything they know, like or recognize. 

To them this is the equivalent of being friends with someone who transitioned from middle school to college to working adult life while they remained the established suburban white picket fence existence the whole time. If they happened to like the middle school version of me that is no guarantee they will like what they see today - that is not nearly the same person. Middle school friends rarely become you lifetime best friends. 

What I am dealing with is not a one-sided friendship but a bizarre situation of me trying to convert someone who hung out with me (on occasion) in middle school into a meaningful friend in belated adult life. They on their part have long moved on to a normal functional adult life complete with a circle of like-minded friends and peers. They have no idea what to do with me when I pop-up to say hello - I bet they have no idea why I am still in touch after all this time. It may feel quite weird infact. 

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