Skip to main content

Line Crossing

Just got done reading Kristi Coulter's Exit Interview and would highly recommend it to one and all - not just current or former Amazon employees (though they would be the most edified of all). She had a great story to tell and it is told extremely well. The core of what makes this company (and others similar to it) so incredibly hard to survive is captured with authenticity. No matter what you do, its never good enough, never world-changing enough and so on. And if you are not superhuman don't even bother to get recognized. On the off-chance that you are superhuman, then make sure you are at the right place and the right time being observed by the right people so they can shine a light on your superhumanity. While you wait for those multifarious miracles to visit you, be prepared to see others who don't seem to bring anything to the table beyond what you do (if that), hop skip and jump ahead. Their proof points will remain a complete mystery to you. You will be told to believe that the system works correctly.

Not everything in Coulter's story has to map what a person has or is experiencing in their own workplace, but there are themes that transcend Amazon, startups and tech. They apply as one reviewer pointed out, even to a school teacher. Irrespective of who we are and what kind of job we do, chances are that we are being gaslight in some way. If that is the case, then this book is for you. Some might ask why could the author simply not quit and get on with her life. Clearly, she was not desperately in need of anything Amazon had to offer her including the money. Those of us who have been in somewhat similar boat can answer that question - there is always a compelling reason and it differs by person. People are not stupid or insane even if it appears to others that they might be both. 

For me (for example), it is about the fear of giving up on income potential I currently have that I may no longer have in a few years. I was raised to believe that opportunity should be treated with due respect and not squandered thoughtlessly and frivolously. Just like one is lucky to have food on the table, they are also lucky to have the means to an income - these things do not come easy to one and all. To that end, I will choose to stay in a toxic swamp for as long as I find that I can manage the situation without impacting my physical and mental health. That is my red line. It can be argued that I could have a much better quality of life, more sense of purpose and a feeling of happiness about what I do for work - while that is all true, the toxic swamp I inhabit has not quite doing me in yet.

So I haven't crossed that red line that I have defined for myself. I believe such is the case with Coulter too - she had her line and it was only crossed at the point that she decided to quit. It is very hard for an observer outside looking in to make sense of a person's decision-making or rationale. But there is a sound logic for everyone who decides to stay and "suffer". Whether that logic is objectively sound is another matter.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cheese Making

I never fail to remind J that there is a time and place for everything. It is possibly the line she will remember me by when I am dead and gone given how frequently she hears it. Instead of having her breakfast she will break into a song and dance number from High School Musical well past eight on Monday morning. She will insist that I watch and applaud the performance instead of screaming at her to finish her milk and cereal. Her sense of occasion is seriously lacking but then so is mine. Consider for example, a person walks into the grocery store with the express purpose of buying detergent because they are fresh out of it and laundry is only half way done. However instead of heading straight for detergent, they wander over to the natural foods aisle and go berserk upon finding goat milk on sale for a dollar a gallon. They at once proceed to stock pile so they can turn it to huge quantities home-made feta cheese. That person would be me. It would not concern me in the least that I ha...

Part Liberated Woman

An expat desi friend and I were discussing what it means to return to India when you have cobbled together a life in a foreign country no matter how flawed and imperfect. We have both spent over a decade outside India and have kids who were born abroad and have spent very little time back home. Returning "home" is something a lot of new immigrants like L and myself think about. We want very much for that to be an option because a full assimilation into our country of domicile is likely never going to happen. L has visited India more often than I have and has a much better pulse on what's going on there. For me the strongest drag force working against my desire to return home is my experience of life as a woman in India. I neither want to live that suffocatingly sheltered existence myself nor subject J to it. The freedom, independence and safety I have had in here in suburban America was not even something I knew I could expect to have in India. I never knew what it felt t...

Under Advisement

Recently a desi dude who is more acquaintance less friend called to check in on me. Those who have read this blog before might know that such calls tend to make me anxious. Depending on how far back we go, there are sets of FAQs that I brace myself to answer. The trick is to be sufficiently evasive without being downright offensive - a fine balancing act given the provocative nature of questions involved. I look at these calls as opportunities for building patience and tolerance both of which I seriously lack. Basically, they are very desirous of finding out how I am doing in my personal and professional life to be sure that they have me correctly categorized and filed for future reference. The major buckets appear to be loser, struggling, average, arrived, superstar and uncategorizable. My goal needless to say, is to be in the last bucket - the unknown, unquantifiable and therefore uninteresting entity. Their aim is to pull me into something more tangible. So anyways, the dude in ques...