Reading this post about the defining traits of bad managers was so relatable that it made me laugh. Self-centered is correctly #1 on the list I would say self-absorbed falls in the same category. Several examples come to mind - C is probably top of the list. This individual took it upon himself to be a people manager but never had any team meetings, put any effort to create team cohesion or share any thoughts he had on where this team was headed. No surprise, people quit feeling stuck in the mud because that is the only feeling being on C's team could possibly evoke. To be fair, we got along fine and he treated me with respect and advanced my cause best he could.
But C was not well-regarded among his peers and leadership so there was very little he could realistically do to advance anyone's cause even if he wanted to. All of us who were on his team were looked about upon as losers to be reporting to C of all people - surely anyone with a shred of competence could fare better than C for manager. We were the object of collective pity. For contrast, there was N - a manager who had a literal fan club. We were proud to say he was our boss He commanded respect among his peer and leaders. If you were on N's team you were naturally viewed as a star - because he was. Reading through this list, I realize N was the opposite for every item.
He was about others not about himself, never cared about inputs as long as you delivered our outputs. He was not afraid to fail and certainly not afraid of his team members failing - he would have their back. N was the definition of radical candor - information hoarding was completely against his grain. What was most remarkable about N was that he suffered from a ton of self-doubt about his abilities as a manager, wondered if we deserved better than what he was able to give us. To this day, I remember N as someone who taught me how to solve problems I had no idea how to solve, get out gracefully of situations I should not have stepped into in the first place and create opportunities out of adversity. I can't think of any manager in my long career who helped me improve more than N did and I am grateful he is still a friend and mentor.
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