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Air Clearing

 There is a lot of good advice for young people starting out in their career in this post. While most of the ideas are ones I figured out over the years, the last one is something I am still not good at: 

When you’re confused or concerned by a manager’s words or actions, ask about it rather than letting it bug you and make you anxious. And don’t try to dance around it; just plunge right in: “I noticed you seemed hesitant when we were talking about X in the staff meeting. Do you want me handling that differently?” Or, “Last week when we talked about X, you said Y. I realized I wasn’t sure what you meant by that.” Or, “I might be misreading this, but do you have any concerns about how I’m handling X?” (The key: You have to say this stuff calmly and with genuine openness and curiosity. Sounding agitated would give it a completely different feel.)

I happen to know someone (I will call her C) whose superpower is to being able to exactly as the author suggests. She can ask these questions calmly without making their manager feel cornered or anxious by her line of questioning. She is genuinely interested in clearing the air and gaining clarity on what is expected from her. If she's not on the right track she is keen to return there. Her demeanor is such that there can be no confusion about her intent even though the situation is objectively tense. She makes it easy for her manager to do what she requires them to do. In all my years I have not seen anyone else with the level of skill C has at making this happen. I am not entirely sure this is teachable but one can observe and emulate to an extent.


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