Skip to main content

Time Left

The level of effort it takes to have a vibrant social life is often seen as too high by those of us who generally prefer their solitude. The folks I have been friends with for the longest time are also somewhat reclusive. We are able to give each other plenty of space and our friendship does not need a lot of feed and care. It's much like growing an easy houseplant that can survive being watered only once in a few weeks, not fussed over every day. For people like us, having a group of friends nearby to hang out with on an impromptu occasion is a near impossibility. If ever we feel like it, we have to accept that we never made the needed investment to have it. Solutions like Timeleft might be the hack for the likes of us:

 “A lot of the time with our community members, they've got friends,” Cooke explains. “Their friends just don't live near them, or they’re at a different stage of their life.” She echos the reasoning of my TimeLeft table-mates: “[If] you want someone to call when you've had a bad day and you want to go for a drink, or you've had an amazing day and you want people to celebrate with, those people need to be near you rather than five hours away.”

The description of the community members fits me to the tee. My closest friends are in three different countries. To get the group together would take a year of planning. Last week, things at work were such that I longed to speak with someone who was a relative outsider, and yet could offer perspective on what's going on. Sometimes the best counsel comes from such sources. People too close to the action or biased towards me are not objective enough. A solution like Timeleft might work (or not) based on what the group that has come together for dinner want on that particular evening. If there were a couple of people who need to vent and the others just want to relax and chitchat, chances are it won't work well for anyone specially that its the first time people have come together. On the other hand, if the energy of the group on that particular day is similar, chances of success are much higher. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cheese Making

I never fail to remind J that there is a time and place for everything. It is possibly the line she will remember me by when I am dead and gone given how frequently she hears it. Instead of having her breakfast she will break into a song and dance number from High School Musical well past eight on Monday morning. She will insist that I watch and applaud the performance instead of screaming at her to finish her milk and cereal. Her sense of occasion is seriously lacking but then so is mine. Consider for example, a person walks into the grocery store with the express purpose of buying detergent because they are fresh out of it and laundry is only half way done. However instead of heading straight for detergent, they wander over to the natural foods aisle and go berserk upon finding goat milk on sale for a dollar a gallon. They at once proceed to stock pile so they can turn it to huge quantities home-made feta cheese. That person would be me. It would not concern me in the least that I ha...

Part Liberated Woman

An expat desi friend and I were discussing what it means to return to India when you have cobbled together a life in a foreign country no matter how flawed and imperfect. We have both spent over a decade outside India and have kids who were born abroad and have spent very little time back home. Returning "home" is something a lot of new immigrants like L and myself think about. We want very much for that to be an option because a full assimilation into our country of domicile is likely never going to happen. L has visited India more often than I have and has a much better pulse on what's going on there. For me the strongest drag force working against my desire to return home is my experience of life as a woman in India. I neither want to live that suffocatingly sheltered existence myself nor subject J to it. The freedom, independence and safety I have had in here in suburban America was not even something I knew I could expect to have in India. I never knew what it felt t...

Under Advisement

Recently a desi dude who is more acquaintance less friend called to check in on me. Those who have read this blog before might know that such calls tend to make me anxious. Depending on how far back we go, there are sets of FAQs that I brace myself to answer. The trick is to be sufficiently evasive without being downright offensive - a fine balancing act given the provocative nature of questions involved. I look at these calls as opportunities for building patience and tolerance both of which I seriously lack. Basically, they are very desirous of finding out how I am doing in my personal and professional life to be sure that they have me correctly categorized and filed for future reference. The major buckets appear to be loser, struggling, average, arrived, superstar and uncategorizable. My goal needless to say, is to be in the last bucket - the unknown, unquantifiable and therefore uninteresting entity. Their aim is to pull me into something more tangible. So anyways, the dude in ques...