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Renting Friends

 A kid I know was telling me recently that he is running out of time to make friends in his life. In his opinion beyond mid-20s people do not make friendships that are real and last a lifetime. You could have any number of social connections and friendly acquaintances but not that kind of friend. This kid's friends go back to his elementary school but college and beyond they are all dispersing. He has not been able to find his people outside this group that is becoming increasingly disconnected from his life. 

The mid-20s part rung true for me but I had been through multiple upheavals in my life since that point - which is what I attributed my inability to make new friends. But maybe the kid was onto something here - maybe that is the magic number when your friendship luck runs out. If you are wise, you will find your friends before that happens. Reading about rentable friends in Tokyo brought to mind the sparsity of friends in my life - maybe there is a world-wide market for rentable friends, Tokyo is as always leading the trend.

The ones I am closest too live too far away for any ongoing social interaction but they go back to my teens. That is not much different from being best buddies with the kids you went to kindergarten with. S, a guy I work with is one of those. He stays in touch with that group that is now scattered around the world. That is their friend-group for life and they first met in kindergarten. This is a group of seven grown men that have magically remained connected into their early 40s. 

They are in very different professions and getting together takes several months of planning. When they get together, the families do not join. They understand that families have not much to contribute to their relationship and would feel out of place given lack of history. Their week together has an element of time-travel. They never quite return to the swing-set of the kindergarten schoolyard. But they do return to the beginning of manhood, coming into their own and realizing that this group of friends still made sense. That is when time starts for them. They are also incredibly fortunate and know it.

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