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Aged Out

Came across this via LinkedIn a few days ago - the question is a valid one but the response not so much. I often try to think back to the time when I was among the youngest in the workplace and see if I can recall how I treated those who were then my age today. The thing that comes to mind that we generally ran in different circles but sometimes there would be overlap. The folks I was hanging out with socially outside work were more like me than not. We had things in common, kids of similar age, relative challenges. It made sense to learn from each other and even get tactical help and advice. Someone with children who were already married was not the right target for the questions I had about dealing with J's kindergarten issues. That was not about leaving them out - it was just not a intersection of what I needed and what they could offer. 

Yet, we did go out to lunch and happy hour with a wide assortment of people, sometimes generations apart. There was a lot that I learned from folks that were close to retirement, had started working the year that I was born. Some of the wisdom had to do with raising my kid even though they had grandkids by then. Do I feel treated differently now that I am on the other side? Quite often infact. The big difference is not even about the specific individuals but about company culture, poor people management and the complete lack of team cohesion in many situations. 

Under those circumstances, people find their own comfort zones in ways that works best for them. Getting to know someone your parents' age in a workplace setting takes a degree of self-confidence and social acumen that few possess. No one is coaching them on how to improve their skills in this area so they don't want to what feels awkward. For scaled comparison this would be like me trying to befriend someone my father's age at in workplace context. This man would have used slide rules in their early career and not seen a computer until the mid-80s. Engaging them in a meaningful way may require mores resources than I have. So while they feel like they are being left out, reality is more nuanced.

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