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Long Commute

A different take on a long commute - three hour round trip every day. This woman's circumstances are such that a long commute brings more benefit that trouble to her. I can map this to map life even had things turned out differently. J lives and works far away from me and she is my only kid. I have no other direct family in America - my parents live in Kolkata. If I had remained single after she left to college, I would have very little to fill my life with, day after day. 

I might have chosen to do a three hour roundtrip commute to work to build a stronger structure for me day where I needed to be up at 6 am to catch the early train out. I might have returned later than work needed me to so I would have less alone time. There is a great benefit for someone who is alone to force themselves into a routine where social interactions are inevitable given time. A regular on the early morning train becomes a travel companion who exchange some pleasantries with over time. You get to know a bit about their work and family, find you have some common interests besides being on a the same train every day. 

In that scenario, I would definitely prefer having someplace to go every day, have that take up most of my active day so there is no time to feel alone and rudderless. The desire to stay rooted in home (which I have plenty of) is borne out of who else is at home and how you are spending your time with them. When J was in middle and high school, it was absolutely priority for me to be home as much as possible and definitely be around to have the greatest intersection of free time with her. That can be true for anyone else who you care about and you share your life and home with

Research shows that more time spent commuting correlates with higher levels of fatigue and stress; another study reveals that longer commute times are associated with lower job and leisure-time satisfaction. Intuitively, “in transit” does not seem like a fun way to spend a decent chunk of one’s precious waking hours. I assumed I would tough it out for a year before finding a new job or moving closer to work.

But once I started commuting that far, I discovered something shocking: I loved it. In a postpandemic world where people are less willing than ever to travel for work, my long commute is the only thing keeping me sane. 

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