Every home I've ever been invited to has their specials that must be part of the dinner. My seat at the table also allowed me to join in their tradition and become a part of it. I could not imagine Thanksgiving at W's without mimosa followed by the cranberry cocktail - something would have to be really wrong if these things did not appear at the table when they were supposed to. At L's no matter how full and overflowing the table, that decorated piece of ham needed to have a place - it made things what they were meant to be. J and I in the years that it was just the two of us did not institute any such traditions - just joined in those of our friends.
I hope J will create her own when she starts her own family at some point - things that from then on always have their place on her dinner table, things that friends and family come to see as what makes the experience whole and complete. My scalloped potato dish that has been a frequent feature at holiday dinners where I was contributing something to the table, is likely all I do in making complete.
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