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Tapped Out

We had been traveling a lot the last few months and never got around to getting a Christmas tree. By the time we went looking for one, there were just a couple left in local store with a big clearance sign on top and no price mentioned. It turned out that the $70 tree was on sale for $3. It came home and got set up. In a couple of days it looked more alive than we got it. At the store a lot of Christmas things were already on sale and in the clearance aisle and we were more than a week away from the holiday. It got me thinking about how retailers set the pace for how people celebrate.

They want us to wrap it up faster and faster each year to the point that the holiday feels like its over even before its happened. At my gym in the group exercise classes, the instructors are talking to us about the post Christmas schedule. There seems to be a general urgency to get the holidays done with - wrap up the shopping, feasting and what not and get back. There is good natured bantering on eating and drinking too much, working out twice as hard after. There are already plenty of reasons why the holidays can be stressful, retailers prodding us to get to the finish line faster is certainly not helping. The $3 tree standing in my living room is a manifestation of the all around craziness.

My friend R, a single-mom in her late 30s was asking me about how far I think its reasonable to push her kid to do well at school before it becomes too much and kid does not want to be friends with her as adult, does not come back home from Christmas. I told her what I think with all disclaimers about your mileage may vary and there is no absolute proof it worked for me. My formula has been to do what I believe is right based on my life experience and learning from many others including experts. Doing less would be a disservice to the child and inadequate parenting. From there we need to trust that the child will grow up to appreciate the efforts even if some of it was not directed right. But for R, this question bubbled top of mind because its the time of year to think if you are in good standing among friends and family - if you have what it takes to make the picture perfect Christmas party.

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