Small Talk

Winter weather got my flight delayed and I arrived close to midnight at the hotel I am familiar with from previous trips. The woman at the desk was very friendly and that felt particularly welcome after such a long day. She had the most interesting eye glasses frame - very novel and artsy. I complimented her on it and she said thanks smiling broadly. I am sure that was not the first time she had heard praise for her excellent taste. I noticed that she had some very tasteful jewelry on as well. This is a woman who had an eye for unique things and she knew how to make it all work together. We chatted about my flight, the bad weather and how I had to wake up early for work. I wish the conversation had leaned more towards her - where those frames came from, the story behind the striking tiger eye and lapis lazuli bracelet. I am sure that would have been far more interesting and I could have learned something. 

It is ironic because earlier in the plane, I had been reading a book that was exactly on this topic - making better small talk. Most of the ideas, I have tried at some point or the other because they are fairly commonsense but success can be mixed. One person given an opening will run with it, make your job a breeze. Another will not do anything with it or turn it a direction where nothing fun happens - like this woman and her wonderful accessories. I was friendly, chatty and admired her glasses but that did not prompt her to share much more. In large part it was the place and time - I was obviously pretty tired and needed rest. She was being polite but decided against wasting my time. It was a valid reason. But exactly the same outcome could have happened in a social environment as well. The person who decides to pass on an opening to share a fun story or interesting fact does that for some good reason. In the least it is a logical reason for them. 

I did not see the woman again for the rest of my stay so have no way of knowing if in a more opportune moment the conversation would have gone differently.