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Unbalanced Union

Continuing to read about the impact of absent father on daughters. I am not sure this is the exclusive realm of daughter and if the father has to be physically absent. From what I have observed this one applies to children whose mother's who are partnered in paper but really don't have someone who fulfills their needs and wants. 

The absence of father means there is no balance or union, no modelling of coming together and then separating, enacting the process of development. When the father is not there to unite with the mother and the sense of their pairing is absent, a daughter experiences separation, empty spaces, anger and unmet desires. She might comprehend the father in his absence through the eyes of mother as an incompetent figure who is disappointing and subsequently denigrated

In Indian society when I grew up finding the mother incompetent and disappointing was common enough. Children learned to ignore her on serious matters because her voice or opinion did not matter anyway. Denigration was not as common as feeling sorry for the hapless woman. Grown-up kids could get impatient with their mothers and demand that she grow a spine, fend for herself and so on - mainly so they could get on with their lives instead of being concerned about her well-being all times. 

More often than not, the pep-talk to revolt was useless. The union had been unbalanced for life and the woman had adapted to it at a great cost to her physical and mental well-being. She did not have the resources left to instigate change. It is true that children of such marriages have nothing to model from and flounder in their own marriages. 

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