Skip to main content

Reset Time

Meeting A on my trip to India was a return to childhood in many ways. We go back to the end of high school which feels like an infinitely long time ago. It is great to be able to reset to a very uncomplicated time of our lives whenever we meet. It is almost impossible to stay in the here and now for too long - we have our happy place that is too easy to return to and we do that reflexively. 

Yes, there were conversations about her ailing parents, the need for nursing care and what their long term care means for her own life since she is single and has no plans of changing that. While those are real problems she is dealing with everyday, having an escape even for a few days gave her much needed reset. It is sad to read that the young people of today may not have such a luxury when they are our age. 

The internet is the “main contender” for blame, Blanchflower told Al Jazeera. “Nothing else fits the facts.”

In 2024, a Pew Research Survey found that three in four American teenagers felt happy or peaceful when they were without their smartphones. Researchers behind a 2024 study showing that British teenagers and preteens were the least happy in Europe also concluded that social media was a key reason.

Blanchflower’s assertion appears to be backed up by research in other nations worldwide, including the Middle East, Africa and Latin America, where more and more youths are gaining access to smartphones.

A and I wrote letters to each other after college for several years. I might still have some of them in the attic. She had a job that required travel to remote locations around India with no access to internet and international phone calls were expensive as well as unreliable. It slowed our communication and made things count. We'd write a letter over a period of time as things happened in our lives, ideas came to mind and so on. By the time we mailed it, there was a ton of ground covered. 

We both use WhatsApp now and every once in a while the conversations have the same level of richness and depth as those letters did. We'd likely never have the quality of friendship we do if we had internet and smartphones when we first met at an age when so much growing up is left to do.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Part Liberated Woman

An expat desi friend and I were discussing what it means to return to India when you have cobbled together a life in a foreign country no matter how flawed and imperfect. We have both spent over a decade outside India and have kids who were born abroad and have spent very little time back home. Returning "home" is something a lot of new immigrants like L and myself think about. We want very much for that to be an option because a full assimilation into our country of domicile is likely never going to happen. L has visited India more often than I have and has a much better pulse on what's going on there. For me the strongest drag force working against my desire to return home is my experience of life as a woman in India. I neither want to live that suffocatingly sheltered existence myself nor subject J to it. The freedom, independence and safety I have had in here in suburban America was not even something I knew I could expect to have in India. I never knew what it felt t...

Under Advisement

Recently a desi dude who is more acquaintance less friend called to check in on me. Those who have read this blog before might know that such calls tend to make me anxious. Depending on how far back we go, there are sets of FAQs that I brace myself to answer. The trick is to be sufficiently evasive without being downright offensive - a fine balancing act given the provocative nature of questions involved. I look at these calls as opportunities for building patience and tolerance both of which I seriously lack. Basically, they are very desirous of finding out how I am doing in my personal and professional life to be sure that they have me correctly categorized and filed for future reference. The major buckets appear to be loser, struggling, average, arrived, superstar and uncategorizable. My goal needless to say, is to be in the last bucket - the unknown, unquantifiable and therefore uninteresting entity. Their aim is to pull me into something more tangible. So anyways, the dude in ques...

Changing Pace

This blog has been a big part of my life for the last five years. Besides giving me the opportunity to connect with a number of interesting people and share my thoughts and ideas with them, it has been a form of daily meditation for me. No matter what the day threw my way, I made a very deliberate effort to find a little quiet time to write.The process of thinking about what to write and then the act of writing itself worked as an antidote to aggravations big and small. Five and half years ago, when I started Heartcrossings both my personal and professional lives left a lot to be desired for. The only real happiness I had was in being J's mother. While that was often enough to make me forget what I did not have, I sorely needed a third place to call my own and shape in the likeness of my dreams. This blog has been where there were no limits or constraints and that was absolutely exhilarating - it is the reason I have been able to nurture it for as long and as much as I have. A lot ...