Good Cycle

A young woman I know is pregnant with her third child. I did not know until she shared the news recently but there was change in the air for a few months. L went from being somewhat despondent and cynical about her professional life to being alive, alert and hopeful.

 Looking back that changed might have coincided her finding out she's pregnant. It made me think about the wonderful ways in which the anticipation of a new baby can transform the mother. To L, this defines completeness for her family unit. She grew up in a large family and valued having siblings at home and relatives within reach. It's not surprising that she wants her children to have what she did.

 I often think of J when I see L though they are quite far apart in age. L is the product of a complete family unit that was there for her at all times. It made dealing with many challenges big and small less daunting. Now in her late thirties, she is calm, centered and raising a family much like her own with both parents working full time. I wonder if J will have the on-ramp a person needs to reach this state of equipoise in their life by L's age. This is not an arbitrary concern for me - research shows that J is not naturally set up for the kind of outcomes L has had. If she gets specially fortunate, she can begin the cycle of good though.