Owning Fifty

I meet V for the first time a couple of weeks ago. She was introduced to me by a common friend who thought we should connect. V's about my age and has been in tech for her whole life- been there done that and not afraid to take on big, messy problems. She's never been married and is single - these facts were stated by way of introduction to get it completely out of the way. That was shortly followed by sharing some of the menopause related challenges she's been having lately. 

I admired the confidence to tell a stranger (even if a friend's friend) within five minutes for the first meeting. We chatted about other things after but this was the most remarkable bit for me - specially being so candid about age related problems. She works for a company where the average workforce is closer to J's age than ours. I am going to guess she is pretty fearless talking about these things with her co-workers as well. V is a self-confessed health and exercise nut and it shows in her level of fitness. But this is also where she's struggling the most with the crazy dips combined with a pervasive level of low energy. 

Meeting people like V is invigorating for me (though she sadly is not feeling much of it these days). I have not been able to make peace with where I am and what I am doing in life - it all feels at odds with what I wanted. It is also true that some things have worked out way better than I ever imagined they could - this is the reserve of strength to draw from when I feel like I am mostly failing. V is bold about jumping into things head-first - her new job sounds like a perfect nightmare but she is intent on making it work and thriving there no matter what. That's her track record it seems. She swoops in, cleans up, leaves things better than she found them, and moves on to do the next thing - ideally a little harder than the last one. 

She reminded me of a client from years ago, M who went from never having exercised a day in her life an obese to becoming a triathlete at over fifty. Like V she never thought twice about making jokes about her hot flashes among a room full of people. I respected her too.