Brick Road

Enjoyed reading this Atlantic article that explores the paradox of early parenthood: while the first years are often described as the most difficult, exhausting, and overwhelming, especially for parents of very young children, many older parents look back on this period with nostalgia and longing. That definitely describes me and I too have told parents of young kids to cherish every moment because its all gone in a blink. 

They stare at me in disbelief. Why they know there is truth in what I am saying because I came from where they are now, but it is impossible for them to act on that advise. And I am not the only one who's given it to them. The author, a parent of two young children, describes the relentless demands of early parenting, including sleepless nights, constant care, and little personal time. She points out how what we older parents advise newer ones like her, are impossible in the thick of daily struggles.

She notes that research on parenting and happiness is mixed, but studies suggest that raising children typically lowers well-being in the short term, with recovery only coming when children leave home. However, retrospective studies show that many people remember their early 30s, often the years when their children were born, as some of the happiest of their lives. The article suggests that as children grow, the relationship between parent and child changes; the intense physical intimacy of early childhood fades, replaced by more complex emotional challenges as children become independent.

As the author correctly notes it is only with time and distance that parents can appreciate the beauty and significance of the early years. While it is not realistic or necessary to “cherish every moment,” the author encourages parents to notice and remember the precious moments amid the chaos, so they can be treasured later in life.

Only after we find out where the path leads are we able to see the purpose each brick served in getting us there. People with grown children have a deeper appreciation for the initial years of parenthood, because they are observing it from a perspective that only time can grant.