Seeking Return

Park Slope’s iconic brownstones which have featured in countless movies are seeing a new wave of multigenerational living, with adult children and their families moving back in with parents, but this time under different circumstances. Families who bought homes decades ago for a fraction of current values now find their grown children returning, driven by high rents, a tight housing market, and the appeal of living in a familiar neighborhood.

The story highlights several families, like writer Una LaMarche’s, whose own move was largely shaped by her mother’s foresight and a sudden lease loss. She now lives in the upstairs duplex, while her mother occupies the garden apartment below, a reversal of the sneaky entrances of her youth. The arrangement brings both convenience ("I had to call my mom to let me in") and nostalgia, plus access to space that would otherwise be unaffordable in today’s market. As such things go, people have to find a way to make count as a net positive in the minds for it to work.

Other examples include Ella, a cooking influencer who embraced living above her mom and dad’s apartment; and Vanessa, who returned during her father’s illness, finding both practical and emotional comfort. These returnees appreciate the support and proximity, easy shares of food, tech help, dog sitting, but also contend with the complications of family dynamics, finances, and ultimately inheritance questions. I am from a time when the multi-generational families around me in India were starting to fracture. The oldest generation rotated around between the children's families but generally had a home base with the oldest son's family. I am familiar with stories of families who really got it right and just about everyone came ahead because of the shared resources. But there are as many other stories that do not end well. 

The article explores how these close-knit arrangements shape relationships, responsibilities, and futures. Some families work out contracts to clarify equity and end-of-life care, aiming to minimize potential conflicts later. Putting homes into trusts, renovating into multiple units, and having open conversations are common strategies.

The homes that people left in India were not quite the prime real estate that Park Slope’s brownstones are. As such the return to nest was far more unlikely. It seems like the kids in this case are simply not to achieve the quality of life they enjoyed while dependent on their parents. A big part of the calculus to share a home with parents is driven by the desire to boost status. Not sure if that is anything to celebrate.