Setting Boundaries

Work friendships often have their own rhythm, especially when you’re an outsider entering a tightly-knit group. In this scenario, My friend “A” joined a company where colleagues “B” and “C” share a two-decade history from their prior job, having worked together from the time their boss “D” built his new team where A was employed at the time. Though A is new to this dynamic, she’s welcomed warmly and forges positive relationships with both B and C.

Life’s unpredictability intervenes when C’s husband dies suddenly. B calls A, suggesting she reach out to offer condolences as a gesture of support. A responds thoughtfully, composing a message to C. Weeks become months: C never replies. While C is active on LinkedIn, she maintains silence with A.

A, meanwhile, remains friendly with B and D, and eventually changes jobs. During a LinkedIn clean-up, she decides to remove C as a contact, feeling the relationship has faded. Years pass, and unexpectedly, C re-joins the company and sends A a new LinkedIn invite, which A ignores, feeling both hurt and confused about her standing in C’s world.

She was musing recently if she could have handled things and what do her actions say about modern professional relationships? In my mind, she did all she could have done, considering

A's initial gesture, reaching out after C’s loss, was both compassionate and appropriate. It recognizes grief as unpredictable, allowing C space without pressure. A was right not to take the silence personally, given the circumstances.

Months of no reply, despite consistent online activity, suggest C may have compartmentalized her grief and her relationships, perhaps intentionally distancing herself from newer acquaintances like A. This isn’t necessarily a rejection, but can feel ambiguous to A as it did.

Removing C from LinkedIn is a practical boundary. It reflects the reality that not all workplace friendships survive time, job changes, or emotional distance. In a world of network management, this isn’t “wrong”, it’s honest.

C’s unexpected invite years later is the true curveball. Is it an olive branch, a bureaucratic maneuver (for networking purposes), or simply habitual? Given the lack of closure, A’s decision to ignore it is valid. Protecting one’s emotional comfort is key: in the absence of clarity about the relationship means A is under no obligation to reconnect

To me, A's choices reflect wisdom and self-respect. She offered kindness during crisis, didn’t demand reciprocity, set boundaries when warranted, and chose not to revive a connection that felt unresolved. In the grey areas of professional life, clarity isn’t always possible and sometimes, the healthiest move is simply not to act. A navigated the situation thoughtfully; her confusion and hurt are natural responses to ambiguity, but her choices are entirely reasonable given the context.