Tool for Parents

A few days ago, J and I were talking about love, marriage and parenting. By orienting my (and now our) life around her, we have conveyed that parents are expected to live for their children almost to the exclusion of any other reason. All around her are examples of hyper-involved parents trying to give their kids every opportunity they possibly could. 

So J's point of view has probably not been formed just by observing the dynamic of her own family. It is establishing her baseline for what marriage is about - she is learning that the euphoria of dating and new relationship will give way to marriage and kids. Once there are babies in the equation, everything is around and about them. 

It was interesting to reflect on these lines the R.S Thomas poem Album, think about reality of our adult lives and marriages and how it is perceived by our children 

There are pictures
of the two of them, no
need of a third, hand
in hand, hearts willing
to be one but not three.

What does it mean
life? I am here I am
there. Look! Suddenly
the young tool in their hands
for hurting one another.