Unlike Us

I met a refugee mother and daughter pair recently. First displaced from their home country, struggling in a neighboring one that took them in but did not make it easy to live or work and finally coming to America. 

Having heard stories of the struggles my grandparents had to endure as refugees, I was quick to draw comparisons and concluded that these women had it relatively easy. I found myself of thinking "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." where refugees and displaced people are like "unhappy families". Their struggles can vary so widely that even a shared background does not automatically garner empathy. Such is indeed the case with unhappy marriages - the sadness is as pervasive as it is isolating.

I am sure this mother and daughter have fought very hard to be where they are today - everything is about context and vantage point. Just because they put on brave and smiling faces, wear nice clothes and do their nails does not diminish their tragedy. It is easy to presume they have it all compared to my grandparents who had infinitely less materially and had to struggle all their lives. I was glad I met them, heard some of their remarkable story, that they were able to live in the present and find happiness in what it offered.