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Male Ally

The concept of male ally has started to be a thing these days. Most recently, a dude I worked with a long time ago received an award from the local technology council for being one. That was a very curious choice. The company he runs is small business and has always had a remarkably large number of woman at all levels. I worked there a long time ago. In our town, people spoke highly of the way the firm was run and the great work-life balance it afforded the employees. The dude in question H, was senior leadership back then. He promoted a number of women - as long as they did not make waves or have strong opinions.

The most important qualification to have H as a male ally was to be in complete awe of his smartness. Girls who thought they were better (and rightly so) were assigned the most soul-crushing projects and to the most ornery clients. The conditions were set up to where they would have no chance of success. H would then tell them ever so kindly that they were a few years away from being promotable. One of those women is now a CTO at another local company and peeling away business and talent from H. Maybe he deserves to be called a male ally for making some women try harder than they otherwise would have just to prove him wrong, wipe that condescending smile off his face. 

I have been fortunate to have a number of male colleagues and bosses who created opportunities for me to learn, grow and shine throughout my career. Many of them have accomplished daughters. The habit of nurturing and respecting female talent probably comes from the fatherhood experience or having strong female role models in their lives. Whatever the case, these men have helped many women in their careers but would feel awkward being branded male allies. They just do what good men do without seeking to be recognized for their decency. 

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