Skip to main content

Raspberry Jam

Read this Anna Akmatova poem for the first time and was struck by its sparseness. It called to mind a loveless marriage where the partners are all too familiar with each other's loves and hates but there is still no accord. Neither love nor hate makes for common ground but it results in knowing each other deeply and having more reasons to pull apart. 

The reference to raspberry jam and tea, reminded me of many couples I know who are very far apart in their food preferences. Over the years, the gravity of what is cooked at home moves to one side or the other. The person who simply won't stand for certain foods will likely prevail with the other coming around to accepting food they don't particularly like but can tolerate. 

If I stay overnight at anyone's home, I generally cook them a meal. It's a habit I learned from my mother. With many of these couples, I end up cooking something the "deprived" party loves and has not had in a long time. They remember that meal for months and and years not because I am such a spectacular cook but because I made it possible for them to enjoy something they had loved and lost. 

The longer the marriage, the less this person remembers who they used to be, what their loves and hates were because they are the unifying, binding force of the relationship. They move to center and get consumed and almost disappear. By cooking for them to their taste, I connect them briefly to a time long past. I did not set out to do this as a goal but it always happens that the sacrificing spouse will often tell me what foods they love and haven't had in a long time. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cheese Making

I never fail to remind J that there is a time and place for everything. It is possibly the line she will remember me by when I am dead and gone given how frequently she hears it. Instead of having her breakfast she will break into a song and dance number from High School Musical well past eight on Monday morning. She will insist that I watch and applaud the performance instead of screaming at her to finish her milk and cereal. Her sense of occasion is seriously lacking but then so is mine. Consider for example, a person walks into the grocery store with the express purpose of buying detergent because they are fresh out of it and laundry is only half way done. However instead of heading straight for detergent, they wander over to the natural foods aisle and go berserk upon finding goat milk on sale for a dollar a gallon. They at once proceed to stock pile so they can turn it to huge quantities home-made feta cheese. That person would be me. It would not concern me in the least that I ha...

Part Liberated Woman

An expat desi friend and I were discussing what it means to return to India when you have cobbled together a life in a foreign country no matter how flawed and imperfect. We have both spent over a decade outside India and have kids who were born abroad and have spent very little time back home. Returning "home" is something a lot of new immigrants like L and myself think about. We want very much for that to be an option because a full assimilation into our country of domicile is likely never going to happen. L has visited India more often than I have and has a much better pulse on what's going on there. For me the strongest drag force working against my desire to return home is my experience of life as a woman in India. I neither want to live that suffocatingly sheltered existence myself nor subject J to it. The freedom, independence and safety I have had in here in suburban America was not even something I knew I could expect to have in India. I never knew what it felt t...

Under Advisement

Recently a desi dude who is more acquaintance less friend called to check in on me. Those who have read this blog before might know that such calls tend to make me anxious. Depending on how far back we go, there are sets of FAQs that I brace myself to answer. The trick is to be sufficiently evasive without being downright offensive - a fine balancing act given the provocative nature of questions involved. I look at these calls as opportunities for building patience and tolerance both of which I seriously lack. Basically, they are very desirous of finding out how I am doing in my personal and professional life to be sure that they have me correctly categorized and filed for future reference. The major buckets appear to be loser, struggling, average, arrived, superstar and uncategorizable. My goal needless to say, is to be in the last bucket - the unknown, unquantifiable and therefore uninteresting entity. Their aim is to pull me into something more tangible. So anyways, the dude in ques...